cookie_monster: its the nettind round her bed
charlie: kinky!
charlie: lol
cookie_monster: nah just very large mosquitos
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cookie_monster: especially this time of year mosquitos r killas in Illinois
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crashnburn: yeah they are
crashnburn: i know
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cookie_monster: they hang around in gangs on street corners ans attack you when you least expect it
crashnburn: yep
crashnburn: specially with all are water
E: what if you do expect it?
cookie_monster: yup they use the water to attack you too
E: would they still attack you?
cookie_monster: thats a great tactic
E: of course it is
cookie_monster: might avoid them that way
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cookie_monster: but you'd always live in fear of their attacks with their water guns spaying you with dirty water as you walked past
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E: yeah but if you never take a shower, then even dirty water would be welcomed
cookie_monster: yeah but they try and drown you with it and when you're finally soaked and gasping with no  energy left thats when they bite you
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E: but if you were drowned, they wouldnt be able to get through the water to bite you.. so by the act of drowning you, they would prohibit any biting access to you
cookie_monster: they can swim
crashnburn: lol
E: and besides.. 
cookie_monster: they're the size of a newborn calf
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crashnburn: i just noticed the mosquitos are still talked about
E: they only like to bite nice smelling things..
E: if you never shower, they wouldnt bite you
cookie_monster: yeah but what's nice smelling?
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E: someone who showers more than once a week
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cookie_monster: thats an extravagent use of water
E: which is why i never shower
cookie_monster: more than once jeez
E: yes.. and they will get bit for their water wasteage 
cookie_monster: every year on my birthday i pour a single glass of water on my head
cookie_monster: thats clean enough
E: i just pour a glass on my head... i dont waste the water like you do
crashnburn: hmmm
cookie_monster: oh an environmentalist are you
E: no i just dont want to waste water
E: an environmentalist wouldnt use a tree leaf instead of toilet paper would they
E: exactly.
cookie_monster: i use my hand
E: i dont use anything
E: on my birthday ill use the glass that i pour on my head
cookie_monster: i use my hand so i can use it as manure in my garden
E: i did that when i lived in a house
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cookie_monster: makes it difficult when i'm out at the pub though means i have to walk about with a full hand of shit till i get home
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E: well its good for hair gel as well
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E: it also makes a decent chaser, which would be great at a pub
cookie_monster: who needs gel though if i only wash it once a year the grease alone is enough to get that hold i look for
E: thats true.. but some people like different styles.. 
E: you cant have a mohawk with hair grease alone can you
cookie_monster: i recycle the grease too in my cooking
cookie_monster: rub my head on the pan before i cook
E: ive done that a few times actually. its also good for cleaning computer monitors
cookie_monster: thanx for the tip i'll keep that in mind
E: its what im here for